If someone had asked me a couple of years ago about my concept of friendship, I would have radically stated that any person has something to offer. From the beggar on the street, to the junkie who stays on the corner. All of them have some useful knowledge that can help you in your psychological development.
By then I was in a group of friends whose greatest expectation was to meet every weekend to drink a lot, get drugs and partying. I thought those people were contributing something to my life. But it was false.
You are what you surround yourself with. Your friends, your family and the people you see in your work influence you consciously and unconsciously, changing your personality. You learn from them get soaked in their behavior, so you should choose the right type of people you want around you. Or you’ll end up being a person who did not want to be .
This does not affect only the easily influenced people. All of us are modified by our environment.
So since a few years I try to meet people who I really care about, and who bring me sincere, constructive things.
Francis Bacon said: ” The worst loneliness is lack of sincere friendship”. It is very easy to surround yourself with superfluous friends and trivial emotional contacts. People with whom you can go party, talk about the last program you have seen on TV, or criticize the girl next door. But not a lot of people can talk about deeper issues, about yourself, or how to evolve as a person.
This whole subject links back to the article I wrote a few days ago about the disability that exists in today’s society to deal with loneliness: there are many, many people who can not tolerate loneliness, and seek a daily dose of pointless relationships to keep their mind occupied and away from the “psychic entropy”. They surround themselves with people not to face their own thoughts, their insecurities and fears. They just want to keep the mind occupied.
Quoting the book “Flow ” by Mihaly Csiksezentmihaly : “To enjoy relationships [ … ] it is necessary not only to have common goals and offer feedback [ … ] but also find new challenges in each other’s company. These can be just learn more and more about your friend, discover new facets of his unique individuality and reveal more of one’s individuality in the process. ”
I have put away from my environment all those people who I consider harmful, or that were with me for the wrong reasons. And I am in the process of strengthening the true friendships that help me grow as a person.
But what I have clearer than ever in my life, is that it’s better to be alone than in bad company.