How to achieve meditation through pain (Confessions of a masochist)

I already talked about my masochistic tendencies in a previous article, and why I find pleasure in painful sensations; I also mentioned the concept of “Subspace“, that earthly nirvana which you can reach through BDSM.

Well, in today’s post I’d like to explain how you can achieve this condition of deep meditation through pain.

The so-called “Subspace” is a particular kind of trance. When an intense painful sensation repeats over time, your body stops fighting against it and your mind will loses the notion of space and time, and will and sets out on a flight beyond yourself.
Will you still be aware of what´s going on? Yes, but you will find yourself in a state of altered consciousness, of the kind you can also achieve with drugs, mindfulness exercises or hypnosis.

With acute sensations of pain, your body and your mind needs to concentrate all their energy on one single thought: dealing with the ache. All your senses are blocked, your body begins to secrete adrenaline and your conscious mind stops thinking. Fear blocks you, and at some point, you just experience a feeling of abandonment, and go into a trance.

You shouldn’t have specific expectations about the session, and you must not try to consciously reach the Subspace. Let the sensations come to you quietly and abandon yourself to them, as if they were a gift. Trying to force the subspace can stop you from getting to it. For me it helps to concentrate on my own breathing while receiving pain.

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If you want to give it a try, the most important thing is doing it with a person of trust, knowing your limits beforehand and having your head on your shoulders.
In my case, I lose so much connection with my body and the real world, that it gets harder to stop a situation, or say “no” to something. I’m in such a state of euphoria that my body just asks for more. I can barely speak. And that’s when the work of your partner takes place, realizing when it´s time to stop.

Of course, before starting the session, you have to agree to a series of clear agreements to determine where your limits are and what boundaries shouldn’t be crossed. The situation must be under control at all times.

One of the tricks of nonverbal communication that I have learned over the years, is the one of the two grips: your dom has to occasionally hold your hand tightly (previously agreed, of course) to check that everything is right, if you respond with two grips, it means everything is good and the session can continue. When verbal communication becomes difficult, this is a safe way to continue the game.
If you are not getting the grips back, the session will come to an end and it’s time to descend to the real world.

It’s important that the descent from “Subspace” is made slowly. This way your mind can return to a normal state gradually, and get used again to reality. Normally I can’t (or won’t) talk for a while after the experience, and quita will need about half an hour of relaxation to be myself again.
Meanwhile, I’m so calmed that I need to lie down or sit somewhere. At this moment, caresses, hugs and after care are necessary, because your body and your mind are fragile, still in a period of adaptation.
You may need hours or even days to process everything.

In my case, I think the bond I make with my dom is so strong, that even after a few days I keep feeling strongly about the experience, as if I were “high” every time I remember the situation.

The first time I got to the Subspace was through shibari, but little by little I learned that with the right people, you can reach this state in a million different ways.
If you want practical examples, you can see some of my scenes at, including the one I made for “Hogtied” or my first day on “The training of O“.

Keep in mind that there I have to maintain some of my consciousness, since I have to pay attention to the cameras and make sure the shooting is decent 😛

Be aware of the fact that in a deep state of Subspace, you can even have hallucinations.

I hope this helped you! If you have any questions, leave them in the comments 😉

1 comment
  1. Excellent & well written. I learned a lot, very interesting.

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